Since adolescence, amour had perforce been
Jack's fate, if not in every way his plan:
A merry widow led him by the foreskin
to where a chaplain named them wife and man.
Luck smiled on him that time: she soon divorced him,
Took up with Bill O'Reilly, and began
A life of telegenic demagoguery.
And with his second chance, Jack turned to roguery.